by: Sabrina Benamin
I
I drink my coffee black every morning
I like how looking at you makes me feel
twice I asked to kiss you,
the second time there was a lump in my throat
I like to believe it was a metaphor,
a plain tumor is all it was.
I have woken up, looked in the mirror and thought
okay, I look good today
If I am late it is because I don't know how to plan time
cut to me blushing, laughing
of course we were no full moon.
In my poems you are the dream of you.
the falling stars are just glitter
just thousands of tiny LED lights poured down from the sky.
That July was a fire that minded its own business
the following June was just thirty days
the moon was a strawberry.
It wasn't the drugs
the shadows on the ceiling weren't dancing again.
I was walking backwards when I met you.
you are not the first boy who I wrote into existence,
or loved
that thought unties my shoelaces.
once we were a crescent moon
weightless as a smile
I love you still I'm not sorry I don't want to write about you anymore
so let's see how long we can go without talking.
this time if we really try
maybe I will forget your birthday
I miss you, but I don't wish you were here.
II
you don't like coffee
you like what it does to your body
you like the way coffee makes your body feel
so you take your cream and sugar with coffee
I'm not sure why you kissed me back the first time
I suspect you liked what it did to your body
you liked the way my kiss made you feel
once I let you wrap your hands around my neck
to feel the tumor ride my throat like an elevator.
you wear sweat shorts,
and I still want to fuck you.
once you gave me a bouquet of pink roses,
or was it a fury of your puckered lips.
when your elbow found mine after a year of our mouths not speaking
I was not happy,
I was relieved.
Once you said a person is either a peacekeeper or a pot stirrer
we both knew which I am,
I bet you think you're a peacekeeper
I bet you think magicians don't exist
you are the first dizzy windspell
to trip my tornado.
Once you smiled in my direction
and balloon on the loose there I went
so high I forgot who came first,
you,
or the dream of you.
you told me once after work you took the train all the way west
to watch the sunset,
only to miss it
you said you were so glad you made it to me
on time.
If you came back
I would not ask why.
you may say none of this ever happened.
III I like my coffee black
you don't like coffee
you like what it does to your body
you like the way it makes your body feel
so you take your cream and sugar with coffee every morning.
This is not about you.
I just like how looking at you makes me feel.
twice I asked to kiss you
the second time
how you said " I don't think I can give you what you want"
really not sure why you kissed me back the first time.
I suspect you liked what it does to your body
you liked the way my kiss made you feel
Once there was a lump in my throat
I like to believe it was a metaphor
for every feeling I have ever swallowed.
a plain tumor is all it was.
See how this is my story.
I have woken up,
looked in the mirror and thought,
Damn ! I look good today,
and you wear sweat shorts
in public
and I still want to fuck you.
once you gave me a bouquet of pink roses
or was it a fury of your puckered lips
if I am late it is because
I was too anxious to leave
I don't know how to plan time
so when your elbow found mine in that crowd
after a year of our mouths not speaking
I was not happy
I was mad I was relieved
cut to me blushing, laughing
of course
weren't you dancing beside me ?
but we were no full moon.
once you said a person is either a peace keeper or a pot stirrer
we both knew which I am
I bet you still think you're a peacekeeper.
In my poems you are the dream of you
maybe in this alternate universe where the falling stars
were just glitter
just thousands of tiny LED lights poured down from the sky.
that July was a fire that minded itself
and the following June was just thirty days.
the moon was a strawberry,
it might have been the drugs
but the shadows on the ceiling were not dancing again.
I was walking backwards when I met you
I made all of this magic
and I bet you think magicians don't exist.
well you are not the first boy who I have wrote into existence,
or loved.
you are just the first dizzy wind spell
to trip my tornado.
that time you smiled in my direction
and balloon on the loose there I went
so high
I forgot who came first,
you
or the dream of you,
and it's that thought
that unties my shoelaces.
because once we were a crescent moon weightless
as a smile,
and I love you,
still,
I'm not sorry
I just can't write about you anymore
So let's see how long we can go without talking
this time, I will really try to forget your birthday
maybe,
If you came back,
I would not ask why I miss you
but I do not wish you were here.
and you may say none of this ever happened
but all the details sure fit
so abracadabra.
Oslo Noviembre 2, 2021
11:45 am
(por si quieren ver a la poeta declamandolo)
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